Should I tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his child? Should I tell my fling or one night stand that I'm pregnant with his child? How do I tell my ex or fling / one night stand that I've fallen pregnant?
Pregnancy is a miracle. A baby is a miracle and a precious gift from God. There should be nothing more exciting then sharing the news of the the precious being that you're carrying. When the relationship that you have with his or her father is not all that favourable, however, this can complicate things greatly.
It's important to think about things clearly when deciding on whether or not to inform the father of the baby of the fact that you're pregnant and in which manner to do so. There is a lot to consider. It is important to think about the pros and cons in each as well as how it will affect you and the baby.
Telling an ex that you're pregnant with his child
It would depend entirely on your relationship with your ex or the relationship you had before things ended.
If things ended due to something that could ultimately have been sorted out like a lack of communication, pointless arguments or disagreements or minor differences as well as one of you moving away, or the interference of family of friends, you may want to tell your ex about the baby as it is possibly something that he would like to know. The endings of such relationships often don't result in completely damaged personal relationships or burnt bridges so the birth of your baby could result in a friendship between you and your ex if you aren't friends already or the reconciling of the two of you.
If your relationship ended due to any form of abuse (physical or emotional), infidelity or your ex leaving you to be with someone else, things would be a whole lot more complicated. In this situation you would carefully need to assess your personal relationship with the other person. Ask yourself the following:
- Is he the kind of person you'd like to be involved in your child's life?
- Would telling him even make a difference?
- How would telling him make any difference?
If you know that he would only contribute negativity towards you and your child, it may be best that you don't tell him.
Telling a fling or a one night stand
Depending on your current relationship (whether you still have contact, are friends, get a long well, etc) you may or may not want to tell this person about the baby. It's important to remember though that people mature and change; just because he didn't think he was ready to be in a serious relationship (hence the fling / one night stand) doesn't mean that he isn't now or that he wouldn't be responsible enough to own up to a baby. You were involved in the fling / one night stand as well but you're ready to be a parent so what makes you think he isn't?
Furthermore, you may not know him well enough to be able to judge his response or reaction to the news and the only way to find out would be to tell him. You have more insight to his personality, behaviour and the situation then I do so you'd be the best person to make this decision. Just remember to fully think about everything carefully. Picture every possible scenario and think about the way your baby and you would be affected in telling him. If you see no harm in doing so then go ahead.\
Consequences
As with everything, there are consequences to every action.
Telling your baby's father about him or her if his reaction is positive could result in complete bliss. You'll have additional support, help, will have gotten something important off your chest and you will allow your baby a relationship with his father.
If his reaction is negative, however, this could result in unnecessary amounts of stress especially when you least need it (during pregnancy) as it can be harmful to your baby. This doesn't mean that you should avoid telling your babies partner in fear of stress but that you may want to consider when you should do this in order to avoid or minimize this.
By not telling your baby's father you are ultimately making the decision to prevent your baby from knowing who his or her father is or having a relationship with him as well as preventing the father from knowing or having a relationship with his child. This is not necessary a bad thing depending on all the factors discussed above but it needs to be thought out clearly as this is a decision that will affect your baby's life forever.
When to tell him about the baby
As mentioned briefly, stress is likely to be one of the biggest factors that could affect your baby and pregnancy in this regard. You need to avoid stress during your pregnancy as it could negatively affect your babies health and development. The most crucial time for this is during the first trimester (from the first week of pregnancy to the 13th week). if you can hold off telling the father of the baby until after the 13th week that would be a whole lot safer for your baby no matter the reaction of the father. Stress can negatively impact your pregnancy at any stage but the first trimester of pregnancy is the most sensitive to miscarriage and development problems then any of the other trimesters.
Being the mother of the baby a lot of responsibilities lie in your hands. Your baby is completely and utterly dependant on you and relies on you to make decisions on what is best for him or her. Always keep your baby in mind.
Pregnancy is a miracle. A baby is a miracle and a precious gift from God. There should be nothing more exciting then sharing the news of the the precious being that you're carrying. When the relationship that you have with his or her father is not all that favourable, however, this can complicate things greatly.
It's important to think about things clearly when deciding on whether or not to inform the father of the baby of the fact that you're pregnant and in which manner to do so. There is a lot to consider. It is important to think about the pros and cons in each as well as how it will affect you and the baby.
Telling an ex that you're pregnant with his child
If things ended due to something that could ultimately have been sorted out like a lack of communication, pointless arguments or disagreements or minor differences as well as one of you moving away, or the interference of family of friends, you may want to tell your ex about the baby as it is possibly something that he would like to know. The endings of such relationships often don't result in completely damaged personal relationships or burnt bridges so the birth of your baby could result in a friendship between you and your ex if you aren't friends already or the reconciling of the two of you.
If your relationship ended due to any form of abuse (physical or emotional), infidelity or your ex leaving you to be with someone else, things would be a whole lot more complicated. In this situation you would carefully need to assess your personal relationship with the other person. Ask yourself the following:
- Is he the kind of person you'd like to be involved in your child's life?
- Would telling him even make a difference?
- How would telling him make any difference?
If you know that he would only contribute negativity towards you and your child, it may be best that you don't tell him.
Telling a fling or a one night stand
Depending on your current relationship (whether you still have contact, are friends, get a long well, etc) you may or may not want to tell this person about the baby. It's important to remember though that people mature and change; just because he didn't think he was ready to be in a serious relationship (hence the fling / one night stand) doesn't mean that he isn't now or that he wouldn't be responsible enough to own up to a baby. You were involved in the fling / one night stand as well but you're ready to be a parent so what makes you think he isn't?
Furthermore, you may not know him well enough to be able to judge his response or reaction to the news and the only way to find out would be to tell him. You have more insight to his personality, behaviour and the situation then I do so you'd be the best person to make this decision. Just remember to fully think about everything carefully. Picture every possible scenario and think about the way your baby and you would be affected in telling him. If you see no harm in doing so then go ahead.\
ConsequencesAs with everything, there are consequences to every action.
Telling your baby's father about him or her if his reaction is positive could result in complete bliss. You'll have additional support, help, will have gotten something important off your chest and you will allow your baby a relationship with his father.
If his reaction is negative, however, this could result in unnecessary amounts of stress especially when you least need it (during pregnancy) as it can be harmful to your baby. This doesn't mean that you should avoid telling your babies partner in fear of stress but that you may want to consider when you should do this in order to avoid or minimize this.
By not telling your baby's father you are ultimately making the decision to prevent your baby from knowing who his or her father is or having a relationship with him as well as preventing the father from knowing or having a relationship with his child. This is not necessary a bad thing depending on all the factors discussed above but it needs to be thought out clearly as this is a decision that will affect your baby's life forever.
When to tell him about the baby
As mentioned briefly, stress is likely to be one of the biggest factors that could affect your baby and pregnancy in this regard. You need to avoid stress during your pregnancy as it could negatively affect your babies health and development. The most crucial time for this is during the first trimester (from the first week of pregnancy to the 13th week). if you can hold off telling the father of the baby until after the 13th week that would be a whole lot safer for your baby no matter the reaction of the father. Stress can negatively impact your pregnancy at any stage but the first trimester of pregnancy is the most sensitive to miscarriage and development problems then any of the other trimesters.
Being the mother of the baby a lot of responsibilities lie in your hands. Your baby is completely and utterly dependant on you and relies on you to make decisions on what is best for him or her. Always keep your baby in mind.
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